My greatest blessings

My greatest blessings

Monday, February 25, 2013

A paradox

I'm not sure why it is always at the midnight hour that The Lord impresses upon me to write? Perhaps that is the predominant legacy that my mother left to me-a night-owl tendency. My creative juices do not flow well until it gets late...or...um...early! Nonetheless, as I spent some time journaling tonight, which always leads to an outpouring of my heart to my very best friend, not in this world, I was inspired with an amazingly helpful truth. Not inspired in the literal sense of God-breathing, scriptural inspiration, just the bright lightbulb clicking on in my brain that I know came from my time spent with my Savior! I have found that it is only when we empty ourselves of ...self...that we can be spirit led and taught! Well The Lord taught me something tonight, and I can not rest until I have shared it!

To be painfully honest with you, I have been wallowing in a swamp of self-pity over several "losses" that seem to be swallowing me. Some losses seem huge, like the passing of my mother, while some may seem petty, like loved ones moving away. They just seem to keep hitting me by the droves. Could it be that God has a lesson through these for me? As a pastor's wife, no, as a Christian really, one has the responsibility to love others. We invest time in others, we pray for others, we take a chance and let down that defensive wall around our hearts, and we give away pieces of our hearts to those we choose to love. When we face the loss of a loved one, whether it be by death, by a change in location, or even by a betrayal we feel the traumatic pain of loss as that "piece of our heart" is either taken, missing, or thrown away. The pain can vary from the ache of emptiness, to the sorrow of a missing part, to the deep penetrating stab of rejection, but there is always pain associated with loss. I think this loss of the "tiny pieces of our heart" can tempt us to put up a guard, develop a coldness, or even allow the root of bitterness to spring up within us! We can be tempted to say, "That's it! I will not be hurt again! I can not afford to lose any more of my heart or I will have nothing left!" But this is NOT the answer!!! That is what God showed me! The only way to heal the hurts of a "broken heart" is to turn right around and give another piece to someone else! It is what we English teachers like to call a paradox, an apparent contradiction which in fact is truth. Only by giving away another piece of our heart can we find healing to restore the part that is missing or damaged. Lying around drowning in the pit of despair will do nothing to heal us. Putting up a stone wall to keep others out does not heal us. Only investing in the lives of others again will we find that elixir to soothe our splintered heart. God has promised us in Psalm 147:3 that He "healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." And He instructs us in John 13:35 that "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." We are commanded by the Healer of broken hearts to love others because He knows it will bring us healing! The very thing we are hesitant to do is the solution to the problem! We must turn right around, choose to love again, find someone to invest in, and start passing out pieces of our heart.

Thank You, my precious and eternally patient Father, for making this so plain to me! Help me, Lord, to put this lesson to use and climb out of the endless pit of self-pity. Break down the walls around my heart and help me to love freely without fear of rejection and betrayal! Restore the missing pieces of my shattered heart as I seek to give another piece of it away!