What my Dad didn't do...

What my Dad was not...

Not a blazing bonfire to light the entire world in which I walked,

Instead a small match, helping me light my own torch to guide my steps.

Not a magic carpet to take me anywhere and everywhere I wanted to go,

Instead a smithy, teaching me, his apprentice, to build a cart to take me where I needed to go.

Not a computer programmer, telling me the exact steps to take in every situation,

Instead, a mirror, showing through his own life the reflections of kindness and compassion for others!

Not an ATM machine, spitting out money for every little whim and wish,

Instead, an investment broker, teaching me to work hard, save lots, and spend my own hard earned money wisely.

Not a pinch hitter, jumping in to hit the fast balls for me,

Instead a coach, teaching me the small details that would help me swing the bat myself and face either my own strike or run!

Not a nanny, spoon feeding me mashed up vegetables and pulverized meat,

Instead, a cooking instructor, showing me the right way to feed myself and my family!

Not a knight in shinning armor, sweeping in to save me as a damsel in distress,

Instead, a fencing teacher, showing me how to defend myself, and face my fears in confidence!

Not a slave driver, demanding service without pay,

Instead a manager, showing me the reward of pride to be found in a job well done!

Not a drill seargent, forcing me to fall in step with the mainstream,

Instead, a band director, teaching me to march to the beat of my own drum!

Not a doctor, fixing up every bump and bruise that came along the way,

Instead a nurse, to pick me up, dust me off, and help me put myself back together.

Not a benefactor, bestowing thousands of rich and fancy gifts,

Instead a locksmith, helping me fashion a key to unlock the gifts that the Lord has given me to share with the world!

Not a Savior, to rescue me himself from all the many dangers and evils of this world,

Instead a shepherd, to guide me carefully to Jesus, the One that loves me even more than the wonderful man I call Daddy! 

On this Father's Day, I'd like to thank my Dad, Ken Roberts, not just for all the things he did for me, but for all the things he taught, helped, guided, led, and encouraged me to do for myself! What a gift from God a great father is!

The Gift

The Gift

The presents are all wrapped; the bows are tied tight;
The rest of the family's asleep for the night.
It's my turn to ponder; it's my time to think;
I must wrap my mind around what's on the brink.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, time to reflect,
Not just on presents we've come to expect.
We honor the son of God, wrapped up in skin,
The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, destined to win.

I stop to remember, though, not just a king,
My savior was born in a manger, we sing.
Surrounded by squaller, by animals and hay.
His cradle, a manger, that first Christmas Day.
Perhaps this foreshadowed that he would become
The spotless lamb, born to die, bringing us home.
A sacrifice worthy my sins to atone,
To reunite my heart with God's, never alone.

The blood he shed many years after his birth
Paid for man's sin, giving us hope to find worth.
For there on the cross, Jesus suffered in pain,
Not just a barnyard lamb, a sacrifice slain.
God's Word has the answers for what this all means.
His blood makes me worthy! His blood makes me clean!
His life for mine, how can it be? I'll never know.
This great love, all through time, has never been shown.

My soul sings in wonder, while my dear ones sleep!
I can rest well tonight! My soul He keeps!
He's not just my king, and He's not just the lamb;
This Gift is my closest Friend-the Great I AM!
When I'm hungry He feeds; when frantic He calms;
When I'm buried in grief, His love is my balm.
He cheers me up, dries my tears, then leads me on.
He helps me to know Him more, each passing dawn.

If you, my friend, don't know the joy of this gift,
I'd like to share Him with you, your pain He'll lift.
Although we're all tainted with sin from the fall.
This gift from The Lord above is for us all!
Not just for a chosen few, He wants to give,
His Gift of Grace to you, letting you live!
So trust His sweet Mercy! Have faith in His Plan!
Unwrap the Salvation God planned for all man!

Simple Beauty

Find beauty in the simple things,
The laughter of a child,
The wonder as he spins and sings,
His arms stretched full and wide.

Find beauty in the simple things,
The snowflakes on the trees.
Like tiny birds with dainty wings,
They rest from windy sprees

Find beauty in the simple things,
A twinkling Christmas light,
The simple pleasure each glow brings,
On trees dressed to delight.

Find beauty in the simple things,
A tiny blade of grass.
As boys fly by, he bows to fling
Bright greetings as they pass

Find beauty in the simple things,
The flowers kissed with dew.
They show their faces in the spring,
When God's green earth renews.

Find beauty in the simple things,
For then you too will see,
That joys of life, just as a ring,
Go around endlessly.

It's been a while since the inspiration hit me...life gets so busy sometimes. I have been spoiled by snow days here in the Ozarks, and the down time has spurred my creative juices! I also awakened this morning  and looked out my back window to view a beautiful scene of snow-covered trees. I felt as if the day was a gift from The Lord packaged just for me! Snow is my favorite wrapping paper;)

A paradox

I'm not sure why it is always at the midnight hour that The Lord impresses upon me to write? Perhaps that is the predominant legacy that my mother left to me-a night-owl tendency. My creative juices do not flow well until it gets late...or...um...early! Nonetheless, as I spent some time journaling tonight, which always leads to an outpouring of my heart to my very best friend, not in this world, I was inspired with an amazingly helpful truth. Not inspired in the literal sense of God-breathing, scriptural inspiration, just the bright lightbulb clicking on in my brain that I know came from my time spent with my Savior! I have found that it is only when we empty ourselves of ...self...that we can be spirit led and taught! Well The Lord taught me something tonight, and I can not rest until I have shared it!

To be painfully honest with you, I have been wallowing in a swamp of self-pity over several "losses" that seem to be swallowing me. Some losses seem huge, like the passing of my mother, while some may seem petty, like loved ones moving away. They just seem to keep hitting me by the droves. Could it be that God has a lesson through these for me? As a pastor's wife, no, as a Christian really, one has the responsibility to love others. We invest time in others, we pray for others, we take a chance and let down that defensive wall around our hearts, and we give away pieces of our hearts to those we choose to love. When we face the loss of a loved one, whether it be by death, by a change in location, or even by a betrayal we feel the traumatic pain of loss as that "piece of our heart" is either taken, missing, or thrown away. The pain can vary from the ache of emptiness, to the sorrow of a missing part, to the deep penetrating stab of rejection, but there is always pain associated with loss. I think this loss of the "tiny pieces of our heart" can tempt us to put up a guard, develop a coldness, or even allow the root of bitterness to spring up within us! We can be tempted to say, "That's it! I will not be hurt again! I can not afford to lose any more of my heart or I will have nothing left!" But this is NOT the answer!!! That is what God showed me! The only way to heal the hurts of a "broken heart" is to turn right around and give another piece to someone else! It is what we English teachers like to call a paradox, an apparent contradiction which in fact is truth. Only by giving away another piece of our heart can we find healing to restore the part that is missing or damaged. Lying around drowning in the pit of despair will do nothing to heal us. Putting up a stone wall to keep others out does not heal us. Only investing in the lives of others again will we find that elixir to soothe our splintered heart. God has promised us in Psalm 147:3 that He "healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." And He instructs us in John 13:35 that "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." We are commanded by the Healer of broken hearts to love others because He knows it will bring us healing! The very thing we are hesitant to do is the solution to the problem! We must turn right around, choose to love again, find someone to invest in, and start passing out pieces of our heart.

Thank You, my precious and eternally patient Father, for making this so plain to me! Help me, Lord, to put this lesson to use and climb out of the endless pit of self-pity. Break down the walls around my heart and help me to love freely without fear of rejection and betrayal! Restore the missing pieces of my shattered heart as I seek to give another piece of it away!

It's that time of year...

Yes, it is officially Christmas Eve. My dad arrives today along with my brother Scott and good friend Gayle. Presents are all purchased-most of them wrapped in coordinating patterns of Christmas wrapping paper. I did the ,"every child gets his own pattern" thing, and I like it! I just finished assembling the hamster cage, yes, you heard right, hamster. My second son, who is an animal lover, will be thrilled to find his long-awaited best bud under the tree on Christmas morning, munching away on little chew toys. Did you know that hamsters need chew toys?!?!  This is a stretch for his rodent-despising mother, but oh, what we do for love;)  

I have planned out meals and will attempt to get last minute grocery items early tomorrow (hopefully before the stores morph into zoos). My tree is sparkling brightly and is surrounded by gifts for and from loved ones. Friends who know me well and love me anyway have shared gifts from their kitchens and from their hearts. Despite all the festive activities and lights and gifts and even the fudge, I just can not seem to catch the Christmas spirit. Is it selfishness? Is it grief? Is it busyness? Is it exhaustion? I just don't know! I'm just not sure what is preventing it from its normal bubbling out! 

One thing I do know is that the true meaning of the season is not some warm fuzzy feeling that one gets from a scene, a song, or a gift. It is an understanding of what The Lord actually did for us when He left His throne in glory to be lain upon a bed of hay; when He took off His royal robes and donned a tattered robe of flawed human flesh; when He stepped out of the splendor of Heaven's shore onto the dry and barren land of earth; when He traded His perfect body for one full of temptation; when He left the presence of His Holy Father to be surrounded by sinners that would never appreciate Him. What did He give up when He was born that chilly night in Bethlehem? Why, He gave all. 
Even without the "feeling" I usually experience at this time of year, I intend to focus on Him and the Greatest Gift ever given...or received!!! 

Just another poem...

I am the sand and grief is the sea.
It continues to crash in a bold revelry.
At sometimes waves roll as a peace laden psalm,
But other times, breakers crash, crushing my calm.
When my tears fall as rain drops re- filling its well,
The ocean of grief can do nothing but swell.
And so here I lie, awaiting the waves waning,
My borders down-trodden with storms unrestraining.
In hopes that on one day the sea will recede
Allowing the sand of my soul to grow seed
Of memories bringing not pain but a smile
Where the ocean meets shore, not surrounds as an isle.

I never understood why it was that the holiday season was hard for people dealing with grief. I know now. The simplest things can set off a wave of tears: a song, an ornament, a card, a taste. We focus on our loss instead of our loved one's gain. I will be praying in a much different way this Christmas, for memories to bring smiles not tears, laughter, not regret, and peace, not pain. As we celebrate the birth of Him who made it possible for us to be reunited in Heaven, let us focus on the reason we celebrate and the loved ones who are here to celebrate with us! Our loved ones who are celebrating in Heaven will have the most amazing Christmas ever!

Thank Who?

Today, I'm thankful for.......thankfulness! I have enjoyed all the shared blessings I have read this year. This morning as I pulled the breakfast casserole out of the oven and slid our 20lb gobbler into it, I was reminded once again of the many blessings I experience every day. Tables overflowing with food are prevalent. Giggling children, cheering football fans, and busy cooks fill our home with sounds, sights, and smells to be remembered for years. Instead of concentrating on the gifts this year, lets focus on the great Gift Giver! The Lord is so very good, not just because of all He has given us, but because of who He is! He is Peace; He is Love; He is Justice. He is my Father; He is my Friend; He is my Savior! Without Him I would have nothing, know nothing, be nothing. Not just for all You've done, all You've given, or all You've saved me from, but because of Who you are-I am thankful!